Luscious Living

Times continue to be busy here, with many changes - they say "a change is as good as a rest," but I think that a real rest about now would be a wonderful thing! We are bone-tired and still looking at very busy months yet ahead of us.

To celebrate the concept of "relaxation," however, here is an excerpt from a chapbook I wrote years ago, on the suggestion of my friend, Paul. At the time, I was becoming interested in aromatherapy and he was wanting to share some of his favorite food recipes. We both thought that people would greatly benefit from taking the time to truly connect with their lovers...

(I'll post some of the recipes later.)

Enjoy the day!

LUSCIOUS LIVING

What every man and woman should know before marrying

A LOST ART

"One who knows the male, yet cleaves to what is female, becomes like a ravine, receiving all things under heaven."
- Margo Anand, The Art of Sexual Ecstasy

To love is an endless art, yet in today's harried and confusing
world we are often too pressured by outside circumstances to fully
comprehend and appreciate the all-pervasive importance of the Arts
of Loving.

Loving, more than being merely a chemical or biological reaction
occurring between people, is a way of being in the world and,
consequently, a conscious Art. The Art of Love can be cultivated
and an introduction to such instruction is the purpose of this
little volume.

All loving stems from Motherlove. The more complete the bonds of
love between mother and child, the more capacity the child develops
for the expression and cultivation of love in her or his own adult
life. Loving others starts with a good sense of self, a respect
for oneself, an acceptance and love of oneself. Without a healthy
sense of self, it is impossible to truly love another.

Many people today suffer from a lack of adequate self-love,
searching for self-identity from outside sources. We seek to
define ourselves through our work, possessions, social standing and
financial bracket. While these may perhaps represent expressions
of our capacities, they do nothing to demonstrate to ourselves or
others our ability to love. We live in a culture starving for
loving expression.

Rather than blaming Mother, which is a futile and unproductive
venture since she was probably as victimized by her circumstances
as we feel ourselves to be, it is possible to mother ourselves and
further explore the expression of love through thoughtful and
caring actions towards ourselves and others. And what a blessing
it is to be able to practice with one's lover/mate!

Within these pages you will find some recipes, both literal and
poetic, culled from personal experiences and many other sources for
the cultivation of the Lost Art. Enjoy!

APERITIFS TO LOVE

stretch: 1) to extend or draw out, as to full length or width;
2)to cause to reach, as from one place to another or over an area;
extend. 3) to extend one's body or limbs, especially to relieve
stiffness.
- Funk & Wagnalls Standard College
Dictionary

Watch an animal as it awakens from sleep and prepares to engage in
any other activity; it stretches, as if to move through an
invisible doorway into another aspect of its life. Stretching
invites us to expand into our greater personal space, to move
energy through our bodies, to stimulate circulation.
Metaphorically, stretching enables us to extend beyond our
accustomed reach.

Practicing the Art of Loving requires that we stretch ourselves to
explore our personal needs and to accommodate the needs of our
beloved other.

ON WAKING: Stretch yourself physically and stretch psychically into
your feelings. By attending to your own transition into
wakefulness, you will sensitize yourself to your partner's
transition, allowing each of you personal space. When you have
both passed through the doorway into wakefulness, acknowledge each
other lovingly. Sharing information about the quality of sleep and
dreams serves to strengthen the loving bonds between people.

Be respectful of yourself and your partner. Not everyone is
communicative upon first awakening and everyone has moments, even
days, where we wish to be quiet and self-contained for a time. Be
receptive to the moment.

BATHING: Most people shower in the morning, due to the constraints
of time. Also, showering is more invigorating while the bath is
more relaxing.

Showering with your partner invites physical contact without
strictly sexual connotations. In the natural world, the act of
grooming one other serves overall to strengthen the community bonds
and is relaxing to both participants, inspiring trust.
Soaping, gently scrubbing, drying are small acts of caring which take
nothing from us yet make our partners feel special.

As a prelude to lovemaking, the cleansing of one's body parts which
have been kept enclosed all day is a prerequisite, as bacteria
thrive in moist dark areas, which in turn creates a disgreeable
odor.

As a restorative the footbath is ideal, offering us the opportunity
to provide our partners with a sense of being treasured. Having
one's soapy feet tenderly massaged is both relaxing and erotic, and
the erotic realm reaches far beyond the sexual, yet encompasses it.
Eroticism brings life into sharper focus.

MASSAGE: So welcome and so necessary at the end of a hectic and
trying day is the massage, tenderly administered by one we love and
trust with light, scented oils in a comfortably warm, candlelit
room. Yet massage can start the day as well, aiding in the
transition from the dream worlds to the daylight world.

Sometimes our sexual expression becomes a captive of our tensions
and though we may try to release tension through the sex act, we
are often left unsatisfied and only slightly relieved of our
stress. A caring touch, the chance to communicate and the gentle
soothing scents of aromatherapy can help to put one "in the mood
for love."

SOOTHING LOVE OIL

N.B. It is advisable to use all scented oils externally only. Some
skin types may exhibit a reaction to scented oils. Therefore, take
care to use only pure essential oils rather than the synthetic
varieties.

Avoid use of scented oils on genitals, as the skin is extremely
sensitive. Straight vegetable oil carriers are usually okay, though. Try a good quality coconut oil, which is very sensuous!

To 2 fl oz (60 ml) of pure vegetable oil (sweet almond, sunflower,
peanut, apricot, coconut, holly, jojoba, etc.,) add 20 - 25 drops (combined) of pure ylang ylang, orange and bergamot essential oil. Use this oil to lubricate the skin of your beloved during massage. Ylang ylang has the effect of simultaneously soothing anxiety and arousing desire. CAUTION: Do not use Ylang ylang for more than two days in a row, as prolonged use has been known to provoke anxiety or anger in some people.

Alternative essential oils include sandalwood, rose, neroli, patchouli, geranium and bergamot. Rose and neroli (orange flower) are extremely expensive, but can usually be purchased in diluted form (i.e., already in a carrier). Check to make certain that you are purchasing therapeutic grade essential oils, as others may contain potentially neurotoxic synthetics that won't benefit you if used over the entire body.

Communication is an important factor in the successful practice of
massage. Remember to tell your partner what you like, want and need
and remember to be sensitive to your partner's requests. The basic rule of this type of massage is, if it hurts, don't do it!